mom, mifen.

It's rainy day again. Too much anger or tears from god recently. Seriously. So miss/mr sky, why are you so mad and sad? I can't stand on any weather of you, no matter it's hot like hell, or cold like hell. Give me a sunny day, promise kay?



I were thinking to write the post in chinese but why am I typing English now? Due to inconvenient of typing chinese in office? Or because of you? You don't like chinese words. LOL. Yea, I'm blogging in the office. I was down. Again. Before this I was like nothing at all and still in the hyper mood until this. I read your blog my dear mother. I'm sorry for absent that day, feel sorry for you, and also myself cause missed out a chance for meeting you.



Honestly. I don't really feel sad before I read your blog. I went there for 2months before too and I know, you'll be back. :) But after that, I have no idea of why is my mind started to refresh the things we did together for the last 2 years, together with the strawberries member. Skipping class together. Comforting someone who in sadding mood. Tuition together, laughed inside the class and the teacher mad at us? LOL. Worked together. Listened to Weitim's ipod together in the class. So what more? Many more.




I'm gonna miss you. You know that. And I'm glad now that, the time can pass that fast. So which means you're gonna out from the camp very soon. It's good to be your so called daughter. You brought lot of laughter for me. Seriously. I can be very relax beside you without any pressure. This is what you are, and the reason everyone love you. And so to me, I love you.



Don't think that it's an end of the world. LOL. I know you tears going drop again. *wipe your tears* Silly girl you'll be so fun inside and trust me, you wouldn't want to get out from the camp after 3 months. And you'll going to tear drop again at the last day of the camp. It's a place that you can escape from every trouble or everything. So cherish the 3months okay? Text me when you got your phone. On weekends. You can only hold your phone at weekend. HAHA! So no more phone ringing for you at weekdays. Missed the day watching you answering calls non-stop.




So yea well stop here. I can't belive I can type that long inside office and also put PICTURE inside my post?! OMG how I did that. Got to go before get caught by boss.

I'm so so in love with this photo and you know what? I put it in x large size. LOL!

Last but not least, take care my dear. I'm gonna miss you, so so much.   




                                                                                                                 Lot's of love from, your red color daugher

miss lonely.

Blog once more than 2 weeks is definitely not my style. No time, is a fact, but also an excuse. Laziness the main point? No inspiration actually.


Sigh. It's really lot's of things happened recently. Where should I start?


I'm now exactly a workaholic. No doubt. As you know I'm an office lady since months ago and for now, besides an office lady, I'm also a promoter. 7days a week, no rest day at all. 24hours a day is not enough for me.



I sacrificed a lot of outing chances with besties, I sacrificed the chances to date with him (I think he's glad I have no time to ask him for outing, LOL). My life seems like fixed. Work, online, and sleep. Not even have the time for exercise. I gained weight, obviously, and I feels like I'm going to sick anytime. No, it can't be, I have no time to sick.




Keep working isn't a good thing for me. I'm a girl who easy to think non-sense. Everyone knows that. And it is much more serious now.



I'm now lonely, I know that. I used to think that, I love to be alone and don't want anyone to disturb me. But now I know, I'm not. I'm actually hoping someone who I care to disturb me. Office job isn't that busy, in contrast it is boring. Most of the time I spent online, or think, and think. Think of him, think of her, think of them, and lastly, me. It's really can easily get moody in this situation, especially when I'm listening to some moody songs?



There're always no one online there. I know I need to find someone to talk. I'm holding my phone, I typed a message, looked for my call list, and finally it ended up with no recipient, like usual.



Sigh I don't feel want to type anymore, and nothing to type. Can i just end up here with no conclusion again? I should back to Gossip Girl which can make my mood better. Lastly, life still on no matter how, aren't it? Cheer Chua Evon, you're not really moody now. LOL!


                                                         





                                                                                                                end post*

注意！别靠近我，因为我会咬人。

最近的我，

真不是普通的忧郁。

人格分裂症迟早找上我。

但请放心，

我还没到会见报的程度。

我想，

雨过天晴了吧？

至少今天的我，

好很多了。

奉劝各位男士，

要想女朋友道歉，

不要光说不做。

而有个男生，

偏偏就是那么笨。♥

晚安了各位。:)

UM. where's my direction?

It's been awhile I've abandon my blog again. 3weeks is the last post? sigh. I have no personal time at all. My time table is pack like hell. Got lot of posts been abandon again, I can't guarantee can tell it all in my lil diary now. Sigh, again.



Friend of my facebook or follower of my twitter should know that, I got the letter from UM last week. Not a proud thing, since it's not bout economic courses, not bout business course, but, dancing course? Furthermore, it's just an information bout the INTERVIEW of the course, I'm not necessarily can get into the course.



And again, the imagination of my dancing dream appeared in my brain juice.How if, I can get into it? Who will I be after it? Dancing teacher? Dancer? Choreographer? A lot of questions in my mind, I know, I can't get the answer in a short period.



Yes, I still went for it. Part of my mind asked me to do so. I know, if I don't go for it, I will regret. I really want to know, actually what is the dancing level of mine? Maybe I can take it as an experience? At least I can know, how's local U interview form.



I would like to tell here. It's sucks, really sucks. First of all, ujian tulis, writing or paper test. Thought it would be something like objective questions, or sort of subjective questions? No, not at all, but they asked for a 500words Malay essay. God knows I returned it all to my teacher. -.- I don't even know how to write Malay now and asked for 500words now? I don't even need to write 500words while I'm a form6 student. Sigh! Additional, in 30minutes. I handed up an 300words essay LOL.




2nd part, the most SIGH part. The interview session. Sucks! The interviewer, according to the seniors, he like to scold, he love to! I'm the last candidate of the interview. I waited for more than an hour for it. The guy who pregnant for at least 5months just keep scolding. From the beginning till the end. I'm consider as lucky, he just, hmph LC to me?

      him:" you put this as the forth choice of you. So which means that, you don't really care bout it, and you really that lucky, got the chance to get into the other campus for other courses which stated in the first, second and third column of your choices, in the same time we offer you this too, so you'll choose them and give up here?"
     :" why do you think we will give you the chance to get into here since your pointer is that low?!"
     :" so are you sure you'll come if we really give you the chance?! confirm?!" p/s this question at least repeat for 5times. -.-
Know what? I looked directly to his eyes, and lied. "I'm sure! " that's my answer.




For the "uji bakat" part, overall was fine. I'm quite confident in this. So just skipped it. Lastly, the dancing class, the first class. I think it was the most tired day since I became an OL. I've been quite a long time didn't had exercise especially as tough as this. The dancing class nothing special. It's more to a physical training. According to the teacher, without a good stamina, you can't dance well. Yes he's right. Yet it's really tiring for me. I can't feel my leg at all for more than 2days. sigh. OLD lady.

I know, it's just a dream. I wouldn't be success with this road. I'm not as pro as others, those who are really professional in dancing. I'm not as creative as others, those who are creative in choreograph dances. How to compete in this? I'm not confidence at all. In fact, I know somehow in my mind, I don't want to take this risk. I don't want to have a tough time anymore. It feel sucks when you have no idea with your future. I know, this is not what I want in my last education life. I want books, I want classes with teacher writing on the white board like others, but not teacher dancing in front mirror. Dance, and study, I want it to be separate. So can I?




Can anyone tell me, where's my direction? Cause I'm now, lost my way.